Mystic Forces

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Doug gives 7 reasons why men should get married by 23.  Here’s a summary for those who have a tough time reading his posts.

  • God has created most people fundamentally incapable of being alone.(Get married because you’re actually a loser!)
  • Gettin’ busy is better than getting clicky. (Porn is bad and sex fixes porn!)
  • 23 years old is the oldest a man should be without acquiring a mother substitute. (This time with extra benefits!)
  • If you have no personality, marriage will make you appear as if you have one! (You’re actually a loser, and people will all *know* unless you get married!)
  • God wants babies – you need to be able to catch babies – therefore… 23!  (If God had put you on this earth for your wisdom, he’d have made you a pastor. Be fruitful and obedient sheepies!)
  • When you get older, you learn more about yourself and what you want and need, so it’s better to get married before you have any clue! (Create a small, reasonable checklist that includes working reproductive organs and theological sameness!)
  • Put a dent in the menacing spectre of feminism by capturing a woman young and taking care of her so well she can’t even think about autonomy! (Shit, I needed seven points and I’ve only got six – bash feminism, that’s always a hit!)

To be totally fair, the last point hasn’t got a damn thing to do with getting married early. I suspect that Doug just wanted to see if he could use the sentence “Feminism is a toxic mess.” into an article because he thought it sounded cool.

 

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One thought on “Mystic Forces

  1. The comments on the follow up post are too ridiculous to be real. All these men asking where they can find submissive women either to marry or to get for their sons to marry. It’s disgusting. I hope and pray that women get out and get out quick and that these jerks have to search forever.

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